Do dismissive avoidants regret breaking up reddit.
Wondering the same thing.
Do dismissive avoidants regret breaking up reddit I have been in therapy 6 years and it has taken alot for feel things and not just push them under the rug (quickly moving from partner to partnerI/ drugs/ alcohol) know it’s easy to blame avoidants ( my ex is dismissive avoidant and I am completely heartbroken) but we are this way as a result of neglect/trauma/in difference in childhood. From what I've seen online, the whole thing about avoidants is that they avoid everything. It goes against every fabric of how our minds work and process human interaction. Yes, avoidant do have regrets. 'Coz of me being avoidant. He was shocked, I was shocked, but I didn't change my mind and he didn't either, so that was that. Dismissive avoidants come back for the same reasons other exes come back – they still have feelings for you, they regret the break-up, the problems that caused the break-up no longer exist, you’ve worked on yourself and showing up better than in the old relationship, they feel safe with you, they’ve done their own self-work, the list goes on. It's sucks being avoidant. " Made me even think that I should be an asshole to my next gf or else she would leave me too. He got fed up. This hits me. But that's not who I am. You may actually be that ‘game changer’; the ex a fearful avoidant can’t let go! All attachment styles; secure anxious, fearful and dismissing do sometimes regret the break-up. How are you doing? Don't be me 8 months still sad though I don't regret breaking up. I am financially comfortable and do not need (or want) anyone else's money, so I always found her references to her financial independence to be odd and off-putting. Don’t get caught up in these attachment style labels. TL;DR: As an avoidant, I was only able to change after I dated someone even MORE avoidant than I was. Most of the time a blindsided break up has everything to do with the dumper and not the dumpee. Any input would be {Well that’s the DA approach(6mnths) } Or when out of no where they text that they miss you in a direct manner?{6wks-3m Fearful Avoidant style} or around a month later they apologize or start talking/flirting?{AP right thuuurrrr}. They avoid their feelings, they avoid communication, they avoid accountability. I think I would consider myself a dismissive avoidant type which came up many times in my past relationship when my bf would bring up my relationships with other men that were clearly platonic. This article delves into their coping strategies, the importance of self-discovery, and the complex emotions they face, possibly including regret. While we were in a committed relationship, I thought we were secure. I was in a relationship with a dismissive avoidant not so long after his marriage ended so I also might have been a rebound We dated for about 1-2 years during which period I got quite some mixed signals (and we were already friends one year before that). Just about your own understanding and experience: 1) When you break up with someone, do you mean it? 2) When you break up with someone, is it impulsive, or did you consider it for awhile? 3) How long does it take you to process a breakup? My dismissive avoidant ex is a successful professional, which she seemed to wear as a badge of aggressive independence. I wonder if you usually move on quickly after the break up, or you still think or miss your ex and regret breaking up with them? I’m just trying to understand how avoidants are after a break up. His friends were crazy obnoxious and he got caught up in being obnoxious too. Common Misconceptions and Myths: Debunking the Untruths about Dismissive Avoidant Breakup Regret The world of dismissive avoidant breakup regret is clouded by misconceptions and myths. So I know some of you are avoidants here and might have experienced calling off a relationship because of your fear(s). I’d never seen that side of him. Wondering the same thing. Dismissive Avoidants deactivate and withdraw when they are feeling a deep threat and that happens because they feel a connection with you. The more you push, the more he will withdraw. My bf (AA) and I (DA/FA) just broke up. They do regret it but honestly their real essence is solitude and wanting to be alone, resulting in a very passive, unfulfilling relationship. Just realized he was avoidant after he gave me no direct explanation why we should break up. These untruths can hinder healing and foster a sense of confusion. there's no way you would know that, though. I figured that was what I was expected to do as a guy. 'Coz he's the only person I talked to. How do you do that to someone who expressed fear and acknowledges/told you her insecurities? However, if avoidants never come back I'll have to really and completely close the door on her, but I just wanted some other opinions and experiences before doing so Thanks in advance. I couldn't do that to anyone. He did email me a few times, mainly superficial chatty stuff, and I of course hoped for more meaningful intent. I think FA people tend to radically overgive and have no boundaries, so what happens is they draw down their relationship account until it's far in the red, blow up, and split. Dismissive Attachment and Anxious Attachment make really poor matches. Why? Because he feels obligated to reciprocate, but he can’t. You didn’t do anything wrong. Now, I'm trying to cope up with myself :( as a rule of thumb, there is a big "phantom ex" effect when it comes to the dissmissive avoidant. the person in question may actually miss you really much, and internalize that feeling. Dismissive avoidants have some serious issues and dating them can be incredibly traumatic for anyone, no matter how secure or strong you are. I asked to stop because it isn't healthy for me. Bloody hard to do but I pressed the delete button gently, not out of anger. Doesn’t want to show her emotions or face them. I do feel that Dismissive-Avoidant people get vilified a lot though and while some are jerks a lot of us can be a good partner as long as we have the space and ability to feel independent within the relationship. What caused the break up was his behavior the entire day. Avoidants & Anxious often question the decision to end the relationship. I knew he could be extroverted and funny but triggers where popping up everywhere. Hi. The best lesson you can learn from dating one is to be much more careful with who you date and realize that you can’t have a healthy or lasting relationship with someone who is avoidant and unwilling to Avoidants get a bad rap for breakups, but in their situation it makes complete sense. Never lets herself think about everything that happened and what she did. But this can take them quite some time. They've been breaking up with you on the inside for a long time. He's destroyed me and undone any progress I made in therapy, prior to him. Look for these 5 Strong Signs An Avoidant Ex Regrets The Break-Up. I have Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment due to childhood trauma. My girlfriend broke up with me. Really fucked with my head when she broke up with me so I could "find someone better. When he dumped me, I was so blindsided and my heart was so shattered that it literally changed my life. Got timelines from Thais Gibson. In a way, your assessment is completely correct. The best thing to do is give space. She didn't think she deserved me. Have nothing to do with me, yet I am the one who ended up in psychiatric (he encouraged me to commit suicide), I am the one who spend a lot of money for therapist while he is hiking every week, look all free and happy. This is deeply painful, and I’m so sorry. The fear of being stifled by someone is very valid - if you’re not able to connect strongly with what your needs are and/or express them, or effectively respond to and limit your guilt over someone else's, then you are in constant danger of being overwhelmed by another's needs (particularly if a partner can I wouldn't have broken up with them if I thought there was even a chance we could make it work. Psychologists and coaches agree that avoidant people start to feel that the relationship is over 2-3 months after the breakup. The one time I did break up impulsively I did not regret it, because the person had stated that we had no future. While being with him, my OCD and PTSD ramped up. So chances are, your ex (if he is an avoidant) probably doesn't feel guilty unless he has decided to confront his issues and deal with them. In retrospect, he was so avoidant that it made me anxious. . Jul 4, 2024 · I'm 29 and just broke up with my first (and last) avoidant. My ex had this problem. DISMISSIVE AVOIDANTS ONLY: Please answer for yourself, not another DA, not with a google-able answer. It’s so easy to go down the rabbit hole and assume the worst. May 3, 2021 · Do avoidants regret breaking up? An avoidant often breaks up with the one he’s truly in love with as soon as she starts putting effort into the relationship. I’ve only dated one dismissive avoidant (he also has Asperger’s so it is harder because of the alexithymia) and he came back to me a few times. if you are anxious, you may perceive an avoidant as being toxic, so, for example, when he/she would send you a Aug 15, 2023 · 4. Feb 29, 2024 · Explore how individuals with an avoidant attachment style navigate the emotional aftermath of a breakup, including the struggle between self-protection and openness. He was overly concerned about these things and the avoidance and dismissiveness came from just being annoyed by his insecurity. Many people can’t understand avoidants because they don’t have the same problems, so that’s why they wonder whether avoidants even regret breaking up. May 3, 2021 · Do Avoidants Regret Breaking Up And Do They Come Back? 17. And it's driving me crazy and it makes me depressed. Only a narcissist/ avoidant/sociopath would do something like that… you dont even know THE DAMAGE YOU DO, you can totally destroy somebody’s life… but of course you wouldn’t understand, because you don’t care about anyone but yourself and your own good. People are still fully responsible for their own behavior and he chose not to be with you. It's crucial to debunk them to pave the way for genuine understanding and recovery. Super caring girl but definitely an avoidant dismissive. Avoidants have a tough time figuring out what they want and how to get it. SO I told him right there on the spot (rather, on the phone) that it was over. Avoidants are unique in how they feel, their thought process and how they express regretting […] Radical acceptance! One of the hardest things to process and accept is being blindsided. Ever since the break up, threw herself into work and always hangs out with people at night and on the weekends. cvtiwtskadnibxnfasbzbwmvyjhoxivazejzvvtwjwpjvnbxw